Bambi 3: Bam, Bee Factory
by StupidSequel
Summary: Bambi wants to get rid of all the bees because he got stung by one, and this eventually leads to Godzilla revealing a strange truth about his mother. No one dies. They just get sent to the Shadow Realm instead. No praise!


**Bambi 3: Bam, Bee Factory**

Bambi was playing dodge ball with his friends. Wait, what's that? It has bees buzzing around it? Surely it couldn't be a... BEEHIVE!

"My mother would never have let me play dodge beehive with my good ol high school chums!" Bambi boasted. Thumper got whacked by the bee hive.

"You're out!" the Great Prince called. He held a pocket mirror and looked at himself endlessly, flexing his biceps, causing the lady readers to squeal in excitement.

At last, only Bambi and Faleen were left.

"Yay, I didn't ever get stung." Bambi cheered. Faleen tossed the beehive to Bambi. He would not stay still. Finally Bambi was exhausted. She was stronger than he was. She threw the beehive and it pelted his cheek. He felt something many a time worse than a swine flu vaccine needle injection. That's what he gets for tempting fate. Bambi had gotten stung.

"OOOWWWWIIIIEEEE! STOP THE GAME! FALEEN, I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU! STOP BRAGGING THAT YOU WON!" Bambi sirened.

"Want me to get the booboo bear?" Faleen talked to him like how someone would talk to a cute animal. Welp, he is one.

"I hate bees! They can all go extinct! That one bee that stung me is about to learn its lesson!" Bambi was mad as a Hatter. He wished that every beehive in existence would just burn. "And yes, please get me the booboo bear." Faleen pressed the booboo bear up to his cheek. "Danke."

Bambi was thinking of how to rid the world of every beehive in existence. He wanted to somehow destroy them all without risking getting stung himself. But how? Surely there was a way. He was afraid to spray pesticides because that would kill off the environment, and throwing rocks at the hives would cause a cloud of bees to chase him a mile or two. Surely burning them? Yes, that's it. He was lucky enough to find a lighter down on the ground that someone was kind enough to let drop to the ground, possibly causing a forest fire. He picked it up and fiddled with it to see if he could make a flame appear. He saw a guy with a gun walk by.

"Stupid me! Why can't I ever tell robots apart from real deer?" he grumbled under his breath. Bambi did not know what a robot was, but he wondered if it would concern his mother. He dared not ask because his mother had always said 'don't talk to strangers.' Bambi knew how a lighter worked thanks to knowing all to well that he has seen people smoke. He made the flame come up and hurled the lighter at the beehive. The beehive erupted in a fireball. The bees orbited the hive, and then eventually scattered far, far away. _One down, at least a million more to go._

So Bambi, taking his trusty cigarette lighter with him, traversed all 193 or so countries in the world (not sure why he searched Antarctica) and set all the beehives in those countries on fire (I will spare you all the boring details, since this scene is fairly long and repetitive). He did all this in a time span of two weeks.

"I'm back. Those pesky bees will not be back to sting me, ever!" Bambi smirked.

"YOU IDIOT! NOW WHERE'S THE HONEY?" Thumper pouted.

"Huh?" Bambi tipped his head to one side.

"Let this Ph.D in Environmental Engineering speak to you in terms even you can understand." Thumper scolded. An Asian, nerdy guy wearing a white coat was standing next to Thumper.

"I am Professor Burlington, and you, my deer, have caused colony collapse. Our biggest problem with that is that since there's no bees, there can be no more honey, and thus nothing will taste good anymore, and demand for Winnie the Pooh cartoons will be lower, and so, that will contribute to the fall of Disney Animation Studios. You're on thin ice, kid. I like to pour honey on my ice cream, Trix, and banana sundae." Bambi felt hot underneath his pelt. "And the scientists have no idea how the bees all suddenly disappeared. I tried to tell them that it was your fault, but they wouldn't believe that a deer with a cigarette lighter would be able to cause something like colony collapse. And we all know that everything tastes better with honey, even bacon PopTart sammiches." Bambi was beginning to understand. It was all about honey. It was all so simple. He wished some kind of deus ex machina would pull him out of this sicheeation.

Seven weeks later:

"Gosh darn it to heck, I'm beginning to miss Winnie the Pooh cartoons on Disney Channel," the Great Prince pouted.

"You're what, 37 years old now? You're too old to be watchin Disney Channel, dude!" Thumper teased.

"Who cares? Hannah Montana is awesome!" the Great Prince insisted. "I really hope that colony collapse doesn't get bad enough to halt Disney and Disney channel permanently."

Bambi pricked his ears. He heard a machine in the distance. _Could this be the deus ex machina that I prayed to the Great Prince for?_ He heard a loud buzzing sound. He crept closer. In the distance, he saw that a swarm of bees was shooting out of a metal door with yellow and black stripes to signify something dangerous. The words 'Bee Factory' were written somewhere above the door. _Yes!__ The deus ex machina I've been waiting for! I love humans now even though one sent my mother to the Shadow Realm._ A guy wearing a business suit walked up to him.

"Hey, little fellow. Would you like to tour the Bee Factory during the grand opening?"

"Oh yes, please!' Bambi jumped up and down in excitement. The executive guy dude beckoned him and led him into the entrance to the factory. The tour had begun. They stepped on a moving sidewalk with long, glass panels flanking the long hall.

"In this room is where we pick up the bee DNA." Behind a huge glass panel, there was complex looking machinery and computers that had the stock DNA helix on the screens.

"And in this next room is where we have test tubes to grow the bee embryos. After they form shape, we load them on the conveyor belt and screw on their wings, legs, and heads so they can then come to life, and then they're outta here!" The bees were, one by one, flying off the conveyor belt, newly fully formed, ready to explore the world beyond the bee factory.

"But all this comes at a price, and this is why this project is controversial," the executive warned. "This equipment is all powered by cremating animal bodies in a dark energy flame that sends them to the Shadow Realm. Some people don't like it." Bambi then remembered that his mother had been sent to the Shadow Realm, so he rushed out of the factory and into the forest.

He unburied his Shadow Realmed mother, rushed to the factory crematorium, and hurled her in it, sending her to the Shadow Realm. The bee meter went up to 'All that this Earth needs and more.' He had successfully restored the bee population, now that his mother went in there, since she was an animal corpse.

Unbeknownst to them, a huge, dinosaur-like beast was in deep slumber, far, far away. He suddenly awoke for seemingly no apparent reason. _I detect an electromagnetic wave coming from afar. Hmmm. It seems to be calling to me like the human shaped holes in 'The Enigma of Amigara Fault.' _He pelted out of his slumber cave and ran over to the source of the electromagnetic radiation, betwixt human settlements and thickly wooded forests. The creature came to a huge factory building, with the sign 'Bee Factory' on it. _I know where you are, Bambi, cuz I see you, and you see me._

Bambi looked up from the cheeseburger happy meal he was happily consuming.

"Hi, Godzilla. What can I do for you?" Bambi asked in a fingernail tone.

"This is awkward. This bee factory lured me here with its electromagnetic waves, and then I find you here. There is something you were never, ever supposed to know, and it's about your mother." Godzilla was feeling very weak.

"I haven't much time, so I'll just spit it out. Bambi, your mother isn't really in the Shadow Realm."

"Yippee! I was beginning to really miss her!" Bambi cheered.

"No, you don't understand. You were never supposed to know cuz then I would go to the Shadow Realm, for you see, the only way I can ever survive is if I'm crying almost constantly, and if I stop crying, then that's unhealthy, and if sustained, can kill me. Seeing you here made me so happy. What the hunter shot instead of your mother was just a robot look-a-like of your mother. I had to protect her so that you would think she went to the Shadow Realm, and you would feel grief. That's the way it was supposed to stay. I could feel bad for you losing your mother, simple as that."

"You know what, Godzilla? I think I'm in love with you. I've never been in love before, so you'll be my first girl/boyfriend. I dunno." Bambi proposed. Godzilla had a look of severe embarrassment on his face, but it disappeared in a flash.

"Very well, but you'll need to constantly make me cry in order for this to work. Your real mother is in the cage over there," Godzilla pointed to his left.

_I need to make him feel bad for me all over again, _Bambi thought. He waited and waited for a hunter to come. Eventually, one did. He nabbed the gun and shot a dark energy disc at her.

"Mom, I hereby send you to the Shadow Realm! Hahaha!" Bambi laughed maniacally.

"IT WOULD NOT WORK ANYWAY CUZ I AM YOUR MOTHER," Godzilla sobbed.

"Come again?" Bambi asked.

"That was another robot, intended to be a back-up surrogate mother in case you ever found out that the hunter shot a robot deer. Now that she's gone, I had to tell you the truth. That, and being in love with one's own mother would just be too weird. You were brought to Earth for the sole purpose of bringing about the end of the world by taking away all the bees. What I didn't count on was the humans building a bee factory to restore the bee population. Humans need to all be sent to the Shadow Realm so that mother nature can thrive. Let me tell you something else, deer. You're not actually from this Earth, deer." Bambi's jaw dropped down to the edge of the universe.

Bambi was escorted by Godzilla to a spaceship device. "Since humanity has put off the destruction of Earth, the only thing to do now is go back to our home planet, the Sun, where I will populate it so much, all light is blocked since creatures are opaque."

163 years later, the spaceship took them both to the sun. Godzila and Nessie had so many babies, they covered up the Sun's surface, blocking any light so that the humans could be sent to the Shadow Realm and the animals could live in peace.

.

Bambi's mother is Godzilla. His father is Nessie. Any questions?


End file.
